Here I Am Again

Well, here I am again.

It's been months now and I still haven't learned.

You promised that you'd never hurt me, so how can this be bad?

It hurt for a while, and then it didn't, and now it does, and soon it won't.

I have to make a change. I need to make a change.

It'd be heaven without you and hell with you and both sound just fine.

But this purgatory in between -

Well, this isn't what I mean.

I trusted that you'd find your way eventually.

That you'd cut the ties and find your feet,

Or that you'd turn on a dime and love me again.

I never dreamed you'd be happy in between.

But that isn't what I mean.

What I mean is, I'm not happy living like this.

I want to tear this all down or live in it for real.

Is that so wrong?

I want you to tell me what it is and stand by it.

Or walk away right now and leave it all behind.

So pick one, because I can't.

I never can.

I never learn.

Here I am again.

Soon it won't again.

Two in a row, Jason.

You really should treat this as a bit of a wake-up call, you know.