Gaps in her knowledge.

There are gaps in my knowledge that I have no idea how to fill.

I like learning new things. When I was a little kid I used to read encyclopedias - picking out a word here and there, admiring the diagrams of insects and the crust of the earth. Those two I really remember - the segments of an ant's body, thorax, head, abdomen - some with pincers and some with little sacs of nectar in their bodies. I remember thinking I'd be a honey ant, but now I'm not so sure. Those pincers look like they could be useful right about now.

The drawings of Earth stuck in my mind too, for some reason. On the surface you have geography, but under it you have geology. My grandmother used to tell me that God baked the earth like a giant cake. Looking back I think her mind might have been starting to slip even then - but the thought of the earth being a giant layered cake with a molten liquid center - well, for a six year old, that was a pretty entertaining notion. I did wonder sometimes what kind of creature would bite into the world. God, maybe.

That thought may have been blasphemous. Sorry.

You were talking about gaps in your knowledge.
You're right, sorry. I just...I don't know what things are okay to learn about and what things aren't, now. Dad says I should turn to God and he'll show me the way, but he seems to want to keep things from me - Dad, I mean, not God. I asked him the other day what a transsexual was and he asked where I'd heard the term. He got really angry. I mean, I don't know enough about anything to know what to avoid, let alone what to learn. History seems safe, as long as there isn't too much killing or sex or drugs - but those are the things I don't know anything about! How am I supposed to learn what's right if nobody will talk about what's wrong? Isn't it said that we must learn about the heretic to better avoid his path? Why is sex so bad to talk about?

I figured out what a transsexual was using the internet. It didn't help at all.