Sunday, February 8, 2009

That walrus ate my puppy!



Alright...I'm a little uncomfortable about this, so I thought I would draw it to the attention of the public, in the hopes that something can be done about this menace.




By now most of you would be familiar with the Kalu'ak, that loveable tribe of walrus people who commision you to save supplies, seduce sea lions, and kidnap puppies for reputation.


That last is was concerns me a little.


Meet Trapper Mau'i.


Trapper Mau'i resides in Moa'ki Harbour, and is at first glance a model Walrus citizen.


OR SO IT WOULD SEEM.


Mr. Mau'i would have passing adventurers venture out into Snowfall Glade - dangerous territory- populated by the wolvar, an aggressive tribe of dog-creatures.

According to many Tuskarr, these Wolvar are constantly raiding Moa'ki, and it has come down to 'them or us'. All fine and well, you might say. But this Trapper wants something more.


He requests that you go and 'rescue' 12 - an even dozen - Wolvar puppies. This is to ensure the continuation of the species, he says. How noble! How altruistic! But consider this!


1) You have to murder the mothers of the puppies before you can gather them, usually. "Your mother is dead, now you get a new walrus daddy, in the bag with you." How ruthless! How traumatic!

2) He wants a fresh bag. EVERY. DAY. And you see no puppies running about the walrus town. So what happened to them?

3) Despite the walrus people assuring us that times are hard and food is scarce, they are all sleek and well fed, even fat. What are they eating?


I put two and two together. The Tuskarr. EAT. PUPPIES. So, the question remains, how far are you willing to go to make these murderous creatures like you? Are you prepared to steal puppies away from their mothers and feed them to a diabolical walrus father?


They give a fishing pole and a small penguin pet. So the answer, for me at least, was "As far as it takes."



Exalted at last!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Penguins!

Don't worry, its all a big magical circle.

Soon, the Tuskarr will become too sleek and well fed to fend of the advances of the wolf-dog-puppies.

Whom in a fiery display of acrobatics or such brilliance will rise up and offer us fishing spears and rubber ducks!

Or at least I hope so.

~irshy