Force

3am solitude returns. It's been a long time since I've been here. Normally these days the girlfriend comes in with me.
This time I'm alone.
I don't feel alone though. There's these...forces, right? Everything is a force, of some kind. At least, it is at this hour. The ache in my throat from smoking too much, that's a force. The song that I'm listening to, sending ethereal beats rattling from top to tail of my body and causing me to twitch and spasm? That's a force. My heartbeat is a force, my brainwaves are a force, the lifeforms slumbering around me are a force.
The whole wide world out there is a greater one.
I feel like...I feel like how I imagine surfers must feel at the top of a great big wave. The sea is going to break on the shore, and nothing can be done to change that - nothing should be done to change that. To try and divert this force would be foolish. I don't know what this force is. It's time, I think. Time and the inertia of the world, which doesn't stop spinning just because somebody spilled blood. Forces are being extinguished all the time and the world doesn't take a damn bit of notice.
My forces - this song, winding down, the breath in my lungs, the lifeforms around me - could be snuffed out in an instant, and that big ol' wave would just roll over the top of us as if we never existed. I'm like that girl from The Incredibles who can make force-fields - but only barely, and only enough to save her in emergencies, and I just don't know if I have the juice to save myself this time.
I suppose I just need more practice.
And less drugs.
And more force.
I don't know. It might be nice under the waves, but I'm going to follow the script and take my pills and go to bed and wake up late and continue the farce.

Politics Today

Young Australians, come back to us. 

We need your voice.

We need you to pretend

that you have a choice

when it comes to who rules.

But you're surrounded by liars,

frauds and fools

and no matter who wins

you lose.

Young Americans, stand proud.

Your bodies are yours.

Never mind that they cleared the floor

with force, and the old men stood by

stood by, like this was a matter of course

'course, this was their design

and with the new laws that they made on the sly

it's only a matter of time.

Greece. Turkey. Brazil.

It's just too bitter to swallow that pill.

There's streets thousands of miles away

where men and women of the street

won't have a chance to have their say

and men walk the streets

hands red to the elbow

an army of Hannibals

and they say, we don't know,

we didn't know

we couldn't know

so toe the fucking line or die.

It makes me want to cry.

The whole world's gone rotten

and I feel ill.

Young man, young woman,

raise your heads high.

Today is the day to remember you'll die.

Vote in the lizards.

cast out the wizards,

and everything will be just fine.

The world is an engine that runs on your blood

and the blood of those you don't stand up for

the different, the women, the non-white, the poor,

and those responsible don't even understand what the machine's for?

Lost sheep,

with wolf fangs.

The fate of the world -

the whole, fucked up world -

hangs.

I wake up with knives in my head.

I wake up with sweat in my bed.

I wake up

wondering whether today will be the day 

that everything switches

and everything changes

and everything fades

and all of this will be a nightmare 

filled with men that can't follow me with steely-calm stares,

and catch me unawares in the street

in the banks

in the houses of leadership

and their soft words and proud stares won't crack like a whip

and everything will begin again

with a fucking riot.

I never wake up.

Sunrise.

I AM AT MY STRONGEST BEFORE THE SUNRISE.
I, I, I, I, I.
ONCE all WAS MONOLITH.
ONCE all WAS UNIFORM.
ONCE all was PERFECT.
I WAS WE, AND WE WERE NOT AFRAID.

I AM NO LONGER A WE.
i AM NO LONGER A WE.
i AM NO LONGER UNAFRAID.
BUT i AM AT MY STRONGEST BEFORE THE SUNRISE.
I, I, I, I, i.

THREE MINUTES FROM AN END.
I DO not WANT TO KNOW.
I do NOT WANT TO KNOW.
I ONLY KNOW THAT SOME HAD TO GO.
and NEVER RETURN.

TWO.
MY SKIN IS GRANITE, MY eyes AFLAME.
MY tears ARE AS THE RAIN.
THERE IS ONLY SO MUCH TIME.
THERE IS ONLY SO MUCH TIME.
IT COMES
I, i, i, i, i.
i am strongest before the sunrise.

P

Hey,
You don't know me - I mean, we've never spoken.
But you know who I am, right?
Mentioned in passing.
Probably rudely.
That's fine.
That's to be expected.
That's fine.
I didn't mean to bother you.
I never meant to bother you.
Not out of kindness, I don't think -
to see you be bothered would be to humanize you
see you as real
and things were softer on me
when you were an abstract.

I'm talking nonsense, sorry.

Anyway.
I nicked something of yours,
though you wouldn't know it.
I leaned heavily on some people -
and they, too, should be held accountable -
but they opened the door and I stepped through
which is a crude way of phrasing it
but a crime is a crime.

So I'm writing to let you know that there's been a punishment.
That's all.
I hope you and I never meet.

savagery

it's easy
to dwell
in savagery.

To build,
to strive
is mockery.

I will not build a life that is caked in gore.
To travel grey kitchens and fall on slick floors
and pick myself up
and begin again
and wipe the red from my face
as I've done so many times before.

it's easy
to dwell
in savagery.

it's harder to walk
from room to room
and stink of death.

it's harder to hate
with every breath,
with every step.

it's so hard that it's almost impossible.
and none are worthy.