Moab v3

To follow up last week's post in a similar vein would be foolhardy. I think I hit a stride, found something solid and profound and important, and now trying to recapture it just wont work. I can read it and take something from it, though. My intention was to do three of these posts, and I suppose in the final one I'm going to look towards the future a little bit.
Stephen Fry (and oh yes, we're back to him) said that there are many things in life that we should apologize for and do not, but there are also many things in life that we apologize for that we shouldn't. In homage to that wonderful idea, here is a sleep-deprived list of things that I will not apologize for.

Things that I should not apologize for (and often do):

• Arrogance. It is the nature of individuals to manifest particular flaws above all others, whether that be a shrill voice, a callous nature, an inability to express emotion, or what-have-you. Such imperfections should not be crushed or ridiculed - indeed, we are socially encouraged to forgive these imperfections (physical ones in particular: "Yes, she's got body odour sometimes, but she's got a great heart" or "She gets very cranky when she's hungry, but she's got a nice singing voice.") I am monumentally arrogant, but...
  Well, but a great deal of things, really. I should not be expected or obligated to apologize for an element of my personality that I cannot change. I should apologize if expressing this aspect of my personality expressed in excess causes somebody harm or discomfort, but I should not apologize simply for the presence of arrogance.
• I will not apologize for finding somebody physically appealing - I will only apologize if that attraction causes that individual or other individuals harm.
• I will not apologize for finding somebody physically unappealing, under any circumstances.
• I will not apologize for needing my freedom or expressing myself. This is a big one, and one that I constantly do, and one that I owe myself an apology for. Which leads nicely into the follow-up...

Things that I do not apologize for (and often should):

• Betraying myself. I blathered on in my last post about the sheer exuberant energy of the adolescent, of the goals and dreams and beauty inherent in romance and language and expression, and yet I allow myself regularly to subvert those ideals in the name of smoothing over a problem or (heaven forbid) lying to myself. I should apologize for these acts and do so now unreservedly - there is a child inside me that often has cause to hang his head in shame for what I do, and sometimes that shame is entirely justified.
• Seeing too much good in people. I should accept the fact that sometimes I see good in people when it just isn't there, and then I end up getting hurt, blaming other people for not warning me, and refusing to see that if I had just put my foot down earlier, I wouldn't be in the mess I'm in.
• Not seeing enough good in people. See above, but a few words swapped about.
• Considering every angle of everything ever - a failure to compartmentalize. Sometimes I just need to understand that a thing will make me happy, without me needing to understand and predict every aspect and action of that thing. Case in point being a relationship that I want to embark on and should have a long time ago. Sometimes, going with your gut and seeing what happens is necessary in order to tap into that well of exuberance that I'm so desperately praising. I suppose we shall see.

Above all, I both should and should not apologize for my writing and for my romances, which ties us back into what I've been saying in my last two posts conveniently. 

Alas, the well runs dry. That was an interesting little experiment, though. I shan't apologize.