The Wall

There is no end to what I crave.
Though I have seen it, up against the glass.
Beyond my grasp, yet binding me as slave,
Knowing that the need was yet to pass.

Till bodies blackened, twisted under skies,
That loom and threaten with their soot to break.
Are twisted, and compelled to writhe and rise!
Those without life hell-bent on life to take.

I do not think I am ready to join their number.

But how am I to cheat that fate?
If thralldom is the life that I must fight,
I must resist this jealousy, this hate.
Lest my control be wrested from my might.

How best then, to deny?
How best to stop this sorrow under sky?
I have walked this land with covetous eyes,
Fixed solely and completely on my prize.
With thought and motivation on no other.

I have sold my soul to you, for naught.

But how to claim you?
To roll my fingers gently down your spine,
And feel your heartbeat resonate in time -
And what if you, pulling walls between,
Remarked. "That was not what I sought,
That was obscene."

To approach with heart and mind outstretched?
To risk, to give, to open and to see?
And should you, reaching out to grasp my mind,
Should form a fist and crush it ruthlessly,
And say, "That had no use,
Leave it behind."

And as for the heart that throbs within my chest?
Can you hear it, across that hateful, endless wall?
Would you come across it in the darkened street,
And listen closely to the tortured beat?
And say "There is hardly any point at all"?

I dare not risk these things.

And so this torture is my only choice,
Though I might wish to simply watch your breath,
The wall between us amplifies my voice,
And my echoes are the only thing I've left.

I shall destroy this love, and you'll never know.