Physical Abuse and Side-Effects

I got physically assaulted this evening by representatives of a society that is making every attempt to annihilate me off the face of this planet for my sexual orientation, and am sitting here hating myself for falling for heterosexuals and coming to the conclusion that I am never going to find someone to be happy with.
So I'm going to deconstruct these feelings in this blog post and thus feel better about them.

Kind of silly, really. We were down at a big park and one of them recognised me from high school. Did the whole "Oh no, get away from me" spiel. Like I was contagious. Ignored him, walked past. Saw his shadow loom up behind me. Didn't bother retaliating, just felt sad about the whole thing. I knew what was coming, and sure enough, I ended up having a fist swung into my gut. Knocked the air clean out of me. Didn't feel angry at all, only sad. And winded, of course.
Now, to deconstruct my original thought trail.

These people do not represent your society.
Hell, everyone in the group was prepared to kick the living shit out of them in retaliation. Lay actually went haring off after the guy as soon as she noticed I was on the ground. Ben had his knife out, for godsakes. For every person that wants to kick you until you pass out, there is one who will defend you to the death. Do try and remember that before you think that the entire society you live in is represented by these cretins.

Society is not out to get you.
Compared to how your kind (god, like I'm a species) has been treated in days past, you have it easy. You have no right to complain of injustice. You probably shouldn't have been in the area anyway, despite the fact that you live in suburban Canberra. The simple fact is, there are some people around which you are not safe, but you shouldn't feel in danger if you're sensible about it - and most of the time you don't, do you?

You can't help how you feel.
You're usually pretty good about this whole thing - feelings for those who will never return them is a fact of life, not just of homosexuality, and you've had to deal with your fair share - but it is ludicrous to hold yourself responsible for falling for people who won't fall for you. It isn't something you can control, and that one time you tried to, it ended badly. Let it go.

You are happy with people now - being in a relationship wouldn't alter that.
Yeah, I know what you meant. You want someone to love and hold and 'be with'. I get that. But you're with people - many, many people - who make you happy every day. You need to remember and appreciate that more. Just because you're not romantically entangled does not mean you're alone.

Right, I feel better! Now to make me a sandwich!