Given that I don't have WoW or indeed stable internet to distract me from things at the moment, I've been forced to spend a lot of time sitting and examining the workings of my own mind.
"Contempt for one's own motivations is a vulgar thing."
That quote is from Johnny the Homicidal Maniac (incidentally, if you haven't read that, can stand a little cathartic violence and want a comic book to change your life, PICK UP A COPY OF THIS). And I've noticed really, when observing the curious little thought patterns that rush around in that gargantuan brain of mine, that my thoughts are centered on two things primarily. Those things are what to do in order to return to WoW and what I see as half my life, and the other is that of love - more specifically, how do I feel about love.
So, now that I've identified what I'm thinking about, I'm going to use this blog to get my thoughts out of my brain and into neat little ordered rows so I can understand what's causing them and either encourage it to grow or crush it ruthlessly.
As I've said many times before, this blog largely serves as an aid for my own mental health, and you may not find it entertaining - I usually say this, and people usually read it anyway. Go ahead if you like.
So. What are my thoughts on love?
I am in love.
Interesting, that one. Despite (or perhaps because of) whatever else comes after this point, it is pretty set in stone. I have been, will be, and am in love. I suppose this isn't something that I have control over. People have to love. I love. I can't do anything about this. Whether this is a pro or a con is yet to be seen...
Love is a highly dangerous emotion.
All I need to do is examine the numerous metaphorical scars I bear and I know this one is true. Like all great catalysts, love is volatile. It can burn you without the slightest warning, and those marks it can leave on you hurt. What's more, they can endure forever. It is a small mercy that the pain does cease after a while. One must always be wary when one realises that one is in love. Unfortunately...
Love turns you into a damned idiot.
Good combination, no? >_> When in love, one will do almost anything in order to keep that going. There is nothing more hideous in this world than unrequited love (forgive spelling). Even when relationships pass, as they do, if the feelings don't fade they can drive you to do stupid things. I've had to restrain myself from asking for a second chance on a few occasions with a few people. Gotta try and ignore that.
Love and lust wear the same clothes.
Spotting the difference can be rather tricky. Indeed, one precedes the other quite a bit. In my case, I can love and not lust - to find someone emotionally interesting but not attractive is pretty nasty, though.
Finally, I suppose I should always keep in mind.
You love love when you're in love, but you loathe love when you're unloved.
If I remembered this at all times, I think I'd be a slightly happier person, really.
This post was horribly disjointed and I hate it. But what the hell. Thoughts are thoughts, and this simple cage is going to confine them for me until I can examine them in finer detail.
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